Returning

*I wrote this late last week. Today as I sit in the sun (the sun! that foreign bulb in the sky!), working on my laptop to the heavy “Call Me Maybe” beats pumping from the open CrossFit gym windows, my words of last week sound somber and heavy. But they were still my words, and I will still share them:
——————————————-
I lost myself for a wee bit there. And now gradually, gratefully, I am returning to me. I got weighed down in a bog (of worry of hurt of patterns of fatigue), and it was murky in there. (I was giving off bad energy, and I was getting back really bad energy… An ugly, ugly cycle.) Man, did it feel murky.

And it’s not that I was unaware of being stuck; I tend to always know what’s going on. (This knowledge frustrates me even more. “First-world problems,” I hiss at myself in cynical moments of self-disappointment and shame.) I was just snagged, caught, unable to flow on by.

It wasn’t entirely foreign, either, where I was just then. (I’ve been there before, and chances are I’ll at some point return.) Because, if we’re being honest, we all get grounded by that bog sometimes, don’t we? Floundering around, making an effort to remember the good, scolding ourselves for not embracing the good that we KNOW is there.

But the curtain of mist is rising now. I feel it, and as I catch radiant glimpses of pure, emerging light, I too feel more light. The levity returns.

The fear is not gone, but she no longer stands alone. Hope and promise and trust and omnipresent love (love that has been there all along) now stand by her side.
——————————————-

Photos of some things that have made me super happy as of late: (like food bank visits/perspective, reunions with friends I dearly love and miss, photography inspiration, unexpected music everywhere, delicious dishes shared with new friends, parades of painted naked people, DJ Mullet, skies that take my breath away, an abundance of turquoise)…

What’s making you smile these days?

20120619-144905.jpg

20120619-144948.jpg

20120619-145015.jpg

20120619-145041.jpg

20120619-145104.jpg

20120619-145124.jpg

20120619-145147.jpg

20120619-145214.jpg

20120619-145237.jpg

20120619-145258.jpg

20120619-145322.jpg

20120619-145339.jpg

20120619-145403.jpg

20120619-145428.jpg

20120619-145449.jpg

Advertisements

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ellen
    Jun 20, 2012 @ 19:05:57

    Return to you! Meghann, mac and mullets. 🙂 And crazy head scarves too. You are such a wonderful photog!!! Love, El

    Reply

  2. meghann
    Jun 26, 2012 @ 15:29:12

    Aww hey, that’s me and the hipster swing dancers too! Miss you.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: