Happy Surprises & Big Girl Panties

Sometimes I learn really huge lessons that I desperately want to remember. I tend to quickly forget (don’t we all?), so I’m resorting to print. Some of these are very obvious…but tonight I want to remember that:

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~happy surprises can (and do) drop out of the sky.

~we must tune out the naysayers. surround yourself with supportive cheerleaders. go where you feel moved, where something “pings” inside. follow the spark, always.

~nothing is permanent.

~when it rains, it pours. (really, really try to remember this in the midst of a frustrating standstill, an agonizing drought.)

~often, the only thing to stop the stories, the ruminating, the festering, the dis-ease—is hoisting up one’s big girl panties, opening up lines of communication & practicing bravery and kindness rolled into one.

~we never ever know the whole story (and often, when we learn at least some of it, we soften.) everyone is human, and we are all just doing the best we can.

It’s been a mostly good (busy) couple weeks here in the (sunny!) PNW, but tomorrow I’m heading east to my people on that (snowy!) coast, and I couldn’t be happier. Hope your weeks have been filled with some happy surprises and refreshing revelations, too.

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Sunday Night Tunes

Just loving this one:

*connections*

“When connections are real, they simply never die. They can be buried, or ignored or walked away from, but never broken. If you’ve deeply resonated with another person or place, the connection remains despite any distance, time, situation, lack of presence, or circumstances. If you’re doubtful then just try it- go and revisit a person or place and see if there’s any sense at all of the space between now and then. If it was truly real, you’ll be instantly swept back into the moment it was before it left- during the same year and place with the same wonder and hope, comfort and heartbeat. Real connections live on forever.”

{This photo of me was taken by my friend Melissa. Doesn't the filter make it EXTRA amazing?}

{This photo of me was taken by my friend Melissa. Doesn’t the filter make it EXTRA amazing?}

Cyclical

Sometimes the ‘circle of life’ concept seems especially evident, strikingly in-the-face. During high-frequency weeks like last week—when there seemed to be so much movement—the duality seems particularly ironic. A week during which I learned that four beautiful babies were born (nearly all of them healthy) almost in the same breath that I heard that one well-loved dog had to be put down, a lifetime friend’s aunt is terminally sick and my grandfather is “ready to die” (expressed in his own tired language, some of the toughest words to ever hear from a loved one). How does this happen? How can all this goodness and sadness—these beginnings and ends—coexist, bundled up into one package?

Last week it was raining, and at times it got me down; but today I already forget that fleeting melancholy that hovered and then passed. Today the sun shines through the cafe window so powerfully and radiantly that it seems to penetrate my body, warming me (filling me) to the very core. I dream of springtime adventures, summer celebrations; I see promise and kindness. At least in this moment, I remember it’s all rooted in love.
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It comes, it goes, we fight it, we surf.  Keep on paddlin’, my friends. What a confusing but beautiful ride.

Things I’m Digging Right Now

*Any of Jimmy Fallon’s absurdly hilarious Thank You notes (*and, well, just anything of Jimmy’s—full stop, especially when he cracks himself up, which is pretty much always):

*First Aid Kit’s contribution to the WILD soundtrack:

*The fact that my most favorite performer ever—Langhorne Slim—is coming BACK to Seattle (& to my favorite venue here, AND just a few days before my birthday!)

*Breaking out of routine/comfort zones. For example, last night—on a random Thursday eve— I got to drive a snowmobile through the dark and serene woods of Eastern Washington! A bit scary at first, but overall….just so darn cool. What a (chilly) rush!

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*Rising with the sun for mountain views like THESE. Seriously, that light!! Today’s snow walk was brief, but I won’t soon forget it: traipsing across the magical, crunchy white stuff in a peaceful, still world, just beginning to stir. What a gift.

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Spinning into Clarity

When I have too many decisions laid out before me, I’ll admit it, I kind of freak. I spin. The overwhelm becomes paralyzing. I don’t know to describe it other than feeling like I might just short circuit, smoke rising from my tangled wires. It’s just not something my brain/heart handles well.

Right now I am trying to get a clear vision of things I want for 2015. Projects I’ll pursue, plane tickets I’ll buy, people I’ll prioritize, pipe dreams I’ll declare not that zany after all. It’s pretty wide open, and it’s so exciting, and I KNOW I’m so blessed to have the options, the resources, the people…this freedom.

(And this is all to say, too, that I know that—ultimately—I don’t have control over the big picture anyway. If this past year has taught me anything, it’s that life is as unpredictable as the sky is blue. The best-laid plans often get derailed by beyond-our-control circumstances, and—on the opposite end—amazing, unscripted additions can evolve that hadn’t blipped on the radar screen at all.)

Anyway, this past week, instead of feeling excited about the mostly-blank canvas sitting before me, calming awaiting my first brushstrokes, all this mental sorting, envisioning and possibility has had me feeling a bit cranky and pretty anxious. And while I’m not exactly sure WHAT lies at the root of all that, I am trying to be patient with my wily emotions, trusting that the clarity will come.

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In a tarot card reading I had done last year, the friend-of-a-friend in charge gently (yet passionately) encouraged me to “be big”….to “be bold.” To flaunt my me-ness. Something resonated.

I’m coming for you, 2015. I’m still on the sidelines warming up, but I’ll be there soon.

Photo by Corinne Whiting

Photo by Corinne Whiting

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” | Marianne Williamson

New Year, A Not-So-New Me

I’m trying to be gentle with myself as I transition from a beautiful, carefree, three-week holiday abroad to homebound, “back-to-reality mode” (which, admittedly, is actually pretty dang good). Overall, it feels nice to be back here in the PNW—amongst these trees, these mountains, these cozy venues and these fabulous friends (whom I’ve missed!)—but man, this jet lag is killer. While I’m feeling far from rested, I will admit there’s something awesome about rising long before the sun and, consequently, enjoying an especially extended and full morning routine.

I’m back into yoga, but definitely not back into eating healthfully. I’m back into working, but definitely not back into working efficiently/non-distractedly. I’m back into brainstorming on 2015 goals and hopes and wishes and dreams, but definitely not into putting anything into practice just yet. Oh well. All that will come. Slow ‘n’ steady…right?

In the meantime, I’m indulging in too-pricey caffeinated treats and buttery scones in a coffee shop that’s currently blasting 80s throwback tunes. Whatever works:)

What’s pulling you through this first week of 2015?

Caffe Ladro sweet potato & sage scone splurge-y decadence

Caffe Ladro sweet potato & sage scone splurge-y decadence

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