On the Go

Sometimes I have {internal} freak-outs—even if subtle ones—when I feel things are going really well. I overload easily, and I realize it doesn’t always have to be over bad/sad/stressful situations—sometimes it happens when there is also a surplus of good, of excitement, of movement in general.

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Does this make sense? Does this happen to anyone else?

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Recently, there’s a lot going on, and a lot of it is really fricking amazing. (I mean, like certain things just seem to have dropped into place super-duper flawlessly. I am amazed!) And I am so grateful.

But why do I always feel the need to simultaneously find some wood to knock on as I marinate in the delivery of such goodness? What do I need to do to just trust, to simply believe that it’s possible and deserved and true?

I’ve recently been having to work really hard to remain even-keeled and grounded in the midst of this swirl of activity—wisely gearing up (mentally and physically) for a travel-heavy next couple months, while at the same time trying my best to balance deadlines, relationships, quiet time here. Staying in the moment while wisely prepping and planning for what’s to come.

If you have any tips on how to stay in the HERE (in the midst of the promise of the later and the holding on to/honoring of the then), I’d love to hear ’em.
Thanks, friends.

Welcome, September. I have a good feeling about you!

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Link Love

Found a new blogger whose writing style I dig. This bit on transitions resonated a lot. (I feel a lot of change in the air as of late, and it’s contributing to some awfully toss-and-turny nights. This time of year is always a melange of nostalgia and potential-tinged excitement, I find.)

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Call it hippie-dippie if you will, but I increasingly love this astrology stuff.

Brene’s the wisest of ’em all. (And I’m so bummed I somehow missed the boat to hear her speak here at Town Hall in a couple weeks!)

Adorable. (I love clever people.)

I wish this wasn’t so darn relatable about our/my 21st-century over-connectedness.

With any kind of luck, I’ll be seeing a new fave Nathaniel Ratecliff this weekend!

Hope the weeks are off to a great start. Happy September manana (rabbit, rabbit!).

New Year Wisdom

Cardiff Castle by Corinne Whiting

Cardiff Castle by Corinne Whiting

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” | Rainer Maria Rilke

Keep Knocking

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Keep knocking, and the joy inside will eventually open a window and look out to see who’s there.~Rumi

Paper lanterns

Someday/Anyway

Some day, I hope to look back fondly on nights like tonight. When I was feeling mighty disappointed. And far from brave. But I was brave, and I went anyway. And I danced anyway.

And it was a really good show. Much better than I expected. (After all, it cost only $3 and was a stone’s throw from my apartment.) I befriended a Costa Rican. And a Colombian. (Which btw, doesn’t happen that often here.)

And I tried my best to feed off the energy of the happy folks in the crowd, their eyes closed, emotions palpable, singing along to every word. (Cos truly, when you’re in that place, live music is magic.)

And it wasn’t what I thought it would be. But it was it was. And it always is what it is. And I’m doing the best I can, in each given moment, as we all are. Everyday.

Cos life keeps on rolling. And we must continue to rock on.

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Kept On Our Toes (Who Ever Knows?!)

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Recently, I feel like have a lot to say—and yet not so much. It all changes so often, so quickly, that by the time I sit down to put pen to paper, it’s already shifted. Onto the next. Ever-evolving. (Which is a good reminder, in those moments that feel tough.)

I started this post (below) weeks ago, but I don’t have the energy to finish it right now. Hopefully soon. (Sometimes it feels silly to even post something that already feels like last month’s news. Often, I can barely relate to the words I’ve rather recently strung together.)

Today I’m feeling a little battered (from an endoscopy I had yesterday). Today, I just needed to take it slow…with plenty of time for fresh air and bright sun and reaching out to others for a little reassurance, a little TLC.

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Tonight, I just needed no obligations, some quiet, some steaming pho, a phone chat with one of my oldest friends. I took these pictures on the winding walk home.

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The past few weeks have certainly been atypical ones—full of emotional extremes. First, I won an AWESOME weekend getaway to Vancouver Island several weekends ago. THANK you, Tourism Victoria!

(I used to feel like I never won anything. But after Dublin and now Victoria, I certainly cannae complain. I am so grateful. Let’s keep this up!)

The weekend was a surreal VIP experience. Good people, good laughs, good food, good drink, GOOD pampering (I’m talkin’: a spectacular float plane ride, two-story penthouse with Parliament views from bed, private in-room dinner, decadent 90-minute massage, coupons for fun meals in tasty locales, and on and on and on. Can we say spoiled? I loved every minute of it and took not one second of the weekend for granted.)

Then, I arrived home that Sunday night to the surreal news that one of my dearest Seattle friend’s boyfriend’s had been in an avalanche while backcountry skiing that day. At that point he was still stuck on the mountain (and had been for hours). We knew very little information except that he was badly injured, in the midst of slowly being rescued, but most importantly, we knew that he was alive. Needless to say, it was a long and upsetting evening that we’ve all probably yet to truly process. (Update: he is very, very lucky, and he will be fine. Bones will heal, and while the road to recovery will no doubt be long, he is currently working on getting better and stronger at a foreclosed, abandoned mansion (!) with my friend over on the Eastside of the city. I’ll be visiting their palatial grounds this Sunday for the first time. This horrible near-catastrophe has suddenly turned into a bizarre little mini-adventure for them. Funny how life works sometimes, eh?)

After that, I went to the Arizona desert for a blissfully lazy and relaxing, family-filled week that was just what the doctor ordered. It was really, really great, just really special. Thank you, M & D 🙂 (Post on that coming soon.)

I came back to Perfect 10 Seattle weather, which realllly helped the re-entry to non-poolside life. Thank you, Mother Nature 🙂

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I don’t know what the hell is going on…and that’s okay.”~ Martha Beck, Growing Wings: The Power of Change

Ushering out the old & in the *new*

There are times when I get caught in my own head, tripped up by my own stories. (More often than I care to admit.) I’m a sensitive, emotional, observant, intuitive Pisces. There are aspects of these traits I love about myself, that I have come to embrace as true assets; yet there are other parts I know could be further tweaked. I am learning to look at them with a gentle, interested eye, and I see their potential harm. There is work yet to be done.

This year, my 35th year, I want to (finally) allow much of that unneeded “old”—the dead weight that no longer serves me—to drop away. I want to be lighter.

My birthday falls at a good time of year—smack dab in the drab of gray winter, when I often need a wee lift, a celebratory boost to remind me that life is indeed beautiful and that winter will not last forever and that I am buoyed, supported and very, very fortunately loved.

This weekend, I surrounded myself with those who remind me of this. I enjoyed chats, laughs and adventures in the snow and the rain, I indulged in good food and drink and, throughout it all, I tried to listen to that inner voice.

I am still reflecting on this past year, not quite ready to reveal any sort of astute recap or contemplative summary. But I am looking back with gratitude (cos much of it was really stinkin’ awesome), and I’m looking ahead with quiet hope. (Thank you to those of you who have made my life such a beautiful ride thus far.)

“At the center of your being you have the answer: You know who you are and you know what you want.”~Lao Tzu

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