Basking in the Glow

I am drinking my morning smoothie by the light of a freshly-lit candle and my ultra-wee fake tree (a Fred Meyer purchase many years old that brings me more joy than I could have ever foreseen). I am remembering all the mornings Mom would turn on the tree before school so we could eat our Cream of Wheat under its magical glow—such a cozy start to each day during one of my favorite seasons.

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Often I think about how special it was when all four of us lived together under one roof—our reality for so many years, when we simply knew no other way. I deeply miss those days when we were one solitary unit, when we hadn’t yet learned to spread our wings and fly. Now, on the rare occasions it happens again (like this December!!), I soak up every second, grateful to hear their oh-so-familiar footsteps and voices—ingrained in the core of my being—once again sharing my space.

I feel very excited for this December. My calendar is piled high with festive events and joyous reunions with so many friends at once—another rarity I appreciate now more than ever before. This season makes me hopeful. (It also makes me nervous when I see how much I’ve committed to, so I’ve tried to offset the “busy” with a slew of new self-care techniques and appointments that I can’t wait to try…)

Sometimes, often, I really love the quiet of my little apartment—a sacred space I attempt to fill with hygge and happy. On this gray morning, I hear: the rhythmic patter of rain, the squawk of a cranky bird (seagull?), tunes from the “Wild” soundtrack I downloaded last night. Sometimes, though, I also can’t wait to once again live in a home filled with other voices and footsteps—music and laughter and life and love. And I really do trust it’s coming soon.

Happy almost December, all. Here’s to basking in the promising light of the season.

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Happy Birthday, Grandpa Buggs

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Today is my grandpa’s birthday, the first one since he passed on in June. It’s so odd, such an ache, to not have that phone call to make to Binghamton today, and I know my dad is feeling that void most of all:( I feel as though I should be honoring the day in some special way, and yet I don’t quite know how. (What would even feel close to sufficient?)

So for now I want to share this precious photo of my grandpa (with my dad), a man who taught me so much about what it means to be gentle and kind, hard-working and humble. He always knew how to share a good belly laugh, and he often had an alluring twinkle in those electric blue eyes. He didn’t need much; he seemed to enjoy the simple things (his morning coffee with his neighbors, his afternoon sits under his beloved front-yard tree). There is so much to be learned from him and the way he lived. In some ways, we could relate on so few things (we led very different lives), and yet we shared a bond so very special. I am so grateful to have had a grandparent well into adulthood. I suppose this is the true gift to focus on.

Happy birthday, Grandpa. We miss and love you so much!

Link Love

Found a new blogger whose writing style I dig. This bit on transitions resonated a lot. (I feel a lot of change in the air as of late, and it’s contributing to some awfully toss-and-turny nights. This time of year is always a melange of nostalgia and potential-tinged excitement, I find.)

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Call it hippie-dippie if you will, but I increasingly love this astrology stuff.

Brene’s the wisest of ’em all. (And I’m so bummed I somehow missed the boat to hear her speak here at Town Hall in a couple weeks!)

Adorable. (I love clever people.)

I wish this wasn’t so darn relatable about our/my 21st-century over-connectedness.

With any kind of luck, I’ll be seeing a new fave Nathaniel Ratecliff this weekend!

Hope the weeks are off to a great start. Happy September manana (rabbit, rabbit!).

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I’ve been in a funk recently, on and off feeling sad, lonely, oversensitive, flat. I know much/most of it comes from sifting through the multilayered stages of grief. My grandfather’s life is in its very final act, and my parents are stoically standing by his side (an exhausting roller coaster ride), helping him ease his way out, onward, upward…(How is it possible to miss someone so much who’s not even yet gone?)

I feel far, far away and yet constantly connected all at once, and my emotions change with the hour—cresting like waves. Seeing my parents’ amazing strength and togetherness through this, though, is the biggest blessing and inspiration. In moments like these, it’s stripped down to the basics. All that matters, ever, is kindness and love.

Despite the impending, inevitable sad news that I know is soon to come, I feel myself rising out of this lil rut I’ve been stuck in, and I am reminded how wonderful these moments feel, like stepping out into fresh, new air after a good, hard rain. It’s OK. It’s always going to be OK. I am looking for the beauty in the midst of life’s sadness, because if we look hard enough, it’s truly always there.

We love you so much, Grandpa, and we’re going to keep living and *laughing* in your honor. I know you wouldn’t want it any other way.

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Thankful November: Day 11

Day 11 * I’m thankful for: Sunny-day brunches. Salmon tartines and free-flowing coffee. Forever friends + soulful conversations.

Portage Bay Cafe=one of Seattle's brekkie gems

Portage Bay Cafe=one of Seattle’s brekkie gems

Thankful November: Day 4

November 4 * I’m grateful for: the ability to laugh. With people and, sometimes, all on my own. At myself, at life, at the absurdities, at the funniness of it all.

A recent dim sum (un)fortune

A recent dim sum (un)fortune

bienvenido, summer!

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*So far, just a couple days in, I’m digging this summer. I simply LOVE this time of year. May it be a radiant, joyful one for us all.*

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