Surf, sun & sand (sprinkled with doses of other stuff)

My weekend snapshots provide glimpses of attempts to soak up every second of this glorious season. (And not to boast too much, but these past days, I’d say I’ve been doing a pretty darn good job of it:))

You will see water (and more water! Pisces heaven), city skyline views, reunions with friends, lazy park sits, exquisite sunsets and sensational scenes that suggest that ALL is right in the world. I belly-laughed with an old friend as we caught up over a picnic on my favorite Seattle mound. (We got goosebumps as we witnessed a petal-strewn marriage proposal under a fire-streaked sky.) I rode my bike, carefree, down the canal trail; I wandered the Sunday market; I heard music from guitars and a violin and the nostalgic drone of bagpipes.

*Pause: I do think it is sometimes important, however, to acknowledge that these snapshots only tell part of the story. There is some danger in this odd existence where social media and the vetted-for-public versions of our daily lives prevail. Clearly, these pictures don’t capture a few weekend lowlights, like terrible Sunday morning listlessness and a serious WHAT-THE-EFF-Universe moment Friday afternoon that had my emotions running rampant and my mind/heart feeling lightyears away from Zen. Although these moments were brief in the grand scheme, they were real, and they stung…..Like Susannah cleverly confesses, we shouldn’t be fooled into thinking that others’ lives are always “all rainbows and unicorns over here” (despite what highlight-reel-recaps or colorful slideshows tend to suggest).

But the main point, I suppose, is that there WAS (and remains to be) so much amazingness, and this is where we must focus the lens. Sometimes it is too easy to get hung up on the hurt or the scared or the sad, or whatever threatens to plague. But, as always, I practice (and practice some more) shifting the emphasis. On bringing to light what is really, really great–on the billions of small (and big) ways I continue to be blessed.

On Saturday morning, I went paddle boarding (so fun!), where four of us drank in surreal mountain and lighthouse views. We spotted a regal blue heron, bobbing, iridescent jelly fish and a playful seal splashing his way across the sound. We saw a rainbow arch its way around the midday sun (so in this case, in that moment, it actually was all rainbows).

On the journey back to the shore, I really got in the groove-pushing meters ahead of my fellow paddlers-feeling steady and strong as I slid along atop the water. For a wee while there, I lost myself in the rhythm of my strokes, the repetitive swoosh of the oar, visions of hypnotic, dancing light beams below. Afterward, kissed with sun, plastered with seaweed and sprinkled with sand, we rewarded ourselves with JUICY Paseo Cuban pork sandwiches on picnic tables next to the bustling surf shop. Bliss. Like a child just in from a day at the beach, I felt tired and sore and joyful and alive. In moments like this: LIFE. IS. GOOD.

Wading through it, again

On occasion I worry that my blog is too cheery. I find I mostly write at times when all feels hunky-dory, when I’m high on life or feeling particularly motivated and inspired. Well today, despite the bright blue skies and holiday weekend vibe, none of these are the case.

(I’m also aware that I write about certain topics vaguely, usually opting for privacy, and am forever wary of exposing too much. But today I feel vulnerable and raw anyway, so here it is…the cold, hard truth.)

This morning I’m quite sad and a bit bruised. I know I’ll be fine, that I’ll get up and dust myself off again, but I am currently wading through the day with a sour gnawing in the pit of my stomach. My heart is heavy; my head spins.

The truth of the matter is:

~sometimes a really good cry arrives in a mall’s food court bathroom stall, where the smooth jazz playing overhead (nearly, but not quite) makes you laugh at the pathetic absurdity of the scene

~sometimes vision board images and formerly helpful quotations need to be covered up because the supposed “meaning” of it all feels like a big frickin’ joke

~sometimes the pain mixes with relief because the gut is exhausted from holding the truth

~sometimes I feel too far away from the people I love

~sometimes I worry that, one of these times, I won’t know how to get up and dust myself off

~sometimes I need to compose emails I may or may not ever send

~sometimes I sense the Universe trying to apologize for/soften the big blow I’m about to receive (like yesterday’s Southwest free drink coupon and the showering of flattering compliments from a friendly air steward)

~sometimes I am sick already of always waiting for (almost expecting) the other shoe to drop. Am I incapable of just believing that a good thing is actually a really good thing? Must I overthink and compensate and smother and not just trust?

~sometimes I wonder how much of it is really my thoughts that manifest the outcomes (and then I beat myself up about this…and then I feel badly for beating myself up about this…not a healthy cycle, I know)

~sometimes I am just plain tired of feeling like I’m bumping into little obstacles every direction I turn. I am keeping perspective, and in the grand scheme, they’re nada. Silly hiccups. But right now, I’m tired.

~sometimes I wonder what it is about sunny Memorial Day weekends in my recent memory that insist on being filled with loneliness, sad and hurt? Whatever happened to carefree beach jaunts and BBQ ragers??

I stumbled upon this post by one of my favorite bloggers this morning. The timing is simply perfect.

Wishing you all wonderful holiday weekends. Earlier I went on a lake run, seeking clarity and perhaps a little peace. What I found was a slow and steady pace and a ladybug who attached herself to my turquoise yoga pants. I guess I’ll take whatever I can get today.

So that’s me uncensored today. Thinking of everyone else out there who might also be craning to find the warmth of the sun.

(*My family trip to Arizona this past week was really lovely (grateful!!). I feel badly for putting that on the back burner, but I promise that photos from that reunion are soon to come…)

Vibrationally up to speed

I couldn’t have said it better than she did, so I won’t bother trying.

Half-way through the work week, friends. Hope you’re hanging in there and remember to enjoy along the way!

“When you are praising, when you are appreciating, when you are acknowledging value, when you are looking for positive aspects, when you are laughing, when you are applauding, when you are joyous, when you are feeling that feeling of appreciation pulsing through you, in those times, there is no resistance within you. You are, in those moments, vibrationally up to speed with who you really are.”~ Abraham-Hicks