Cresting

I’ve been in a funk recently, on and off feeling sad, lonely, oversensitive, flat. I know much/most of it comes from sifting through the multilayered stages of grief. My grandfather’s life is in its very final act, and my parents are stoically standing by his side (an exhausting roller coaster ride), helping him ease his way out, onward, upward…(How is it possible to miss someone so much who’s not even yet gone?)

I feel far, far away and yet constantly connected all at once, and my emotions change with the hour—cresting like waves. Seeing my parents’ amazing strength and togetherness through this, though, is the biggest blessing and inspiration. In moments like these, it’s stripped down to the basics. All that matters, ever, is kindness and love.

Despite the impending, inevitable sad news that I know is soon to come, I feel myself rising out of this lil rut I’ve been stuck in, and I am reminded how wonderful these moments feel, like stepping out into fresh, new air after a good, hard rain. It’s OK. It’s always going to be OK. I am looking for the beauty in the midst of life’s sadness, because if we look hard enough, it’s truly always there.

We love you so much, Grandpa, and we’re going to keep living and *laughing* in your honor. I know you wouldn’t want it any other way.

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Hues of Here

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This week I’ve been feeling strangely invigorated. I don’t know why it comes as a surprise (post-vacay, dead of grey winter), but it does. I haven’t been sleeping much or that well either (and oddly, that seems to be okay, too).

After five wonderful days away, I just feel there’s so much I want to attend to here (before I jet off again!), so much nesting home time and city socializing time—catching up with friends (real-life and fictional….hello Parenthood and Nashville characters as well as the couple books I’ve recently been juggling:)).

I know I’m a broken record, but I have such wonderful people in my life. Such.

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There’ve been a few things this week that could’ve rattled me, and maybe momentarily they did, but overall, I’m feeling hopeful. Able to see the full picture. I’m so thankful when these waves come (because I well know how swiftly they can ebb and flow).  I’m in a trusting phase. I feel open.

Just feeling grateful on this Friday, I suppose. Happy weekend, friends.
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Gentle persistence

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Beach bum

It’s been a longggg ‘n’ dreary week, so today I’ve put real life on hold to flock to the sun. It’s freezing out, but ahhh those beams of light! Those clouds and waves and snowy mountains! I saw an eagle chilling on a rock wall and heard the barks of a seal convention gathered on a bobbing buoy.

The parking lot is lined with folks sitting in cars, their engines off. Some gaze out with binoculars, some read, some take siestas(!). This beach/maritime culture is so new to me, and I’m so drawn to and intrigued by it.

Sometimes you’ve just got to do these things. To make the time. I’m lucky I can right now. Often I forget to take advantage. Today I’m not! I’m so content by the sea.

Happy weekend, friends.

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