Through My Eyes: Hwy 2 Mini-Adventure

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“We live only to discover beauty. All else is a form of waiting.”
~Kahlil Gibran

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Spring Day Musings

I am forever saying I need to break my addiction to/reliance on my phone, and I am feeling renewed inspiration to curb this bad habit after reading Rachel’s recent post. It’s not rocket science; I just highly suspect that my attachment to that lil machine, as well as to social media and my computer in general, doesn’t serve me well. It makes me more anxious, and it takes me out of the present. Big-time.

For example, on a day like today, a BEAUTIFUL, blue-skied Seattle day (welcome, Spring!), I was out on a wander (I took the longgggg route to the post office to mail some packages). But instead of enjoying it, I realized I was constantly checking my phone and feeling annoyed at the empty inbox and feeling guilty for this freedom, for all this time on my hands. But what am I doing with my life? kept rolling around up in that noggin. Stories. Ahh, the stories!

I am in a bit of a holding pattern at present (yep, again), one of those pesky, recurring freelance freeze-frames that test my patience and my ability to trust. But then today I started thinking: why am I not allowing myself to just relish this downtime and this beautiful place and all the simple pleasures that surround me? I would if I were on vacation or off on a global walkabout (like several of my friends are doing right now….). So why not now? What’s the difference?

So I forced myself to shut off my phone for a couple hours (okay, maybe only an hour-and-a-half…baby steps, people:)). I made myself really take it all in, to really SEE, to really listen. So much beauty!

The wind chimes, the dancing prayer flags, the seaplane engines, the gardening neighbors, the sunbathing black cat, the bike bells, the splash of ducks’ feet skating across the surface of the canal to secure safe landing. (And, I kid you not, a disintegrating tag (label?) floating in the water that read “CHILL.”)

Here are a few captures of the gorgeous day, taken before my phone went into glorious, peaceful OFF mode. This needs to be my new habit.

Happy Spring, y’all!

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Silence + Chatter

There are days when I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing—how I landed here, why exactly I am here, how long I should stay here, whyyy the heck I’m self-employed, whether I’m living enough/traveling enough/helping enough/trying enough. At times I frustratingly feel like I’m forever seeking, always on a hunt, perpetually off-schedule—while some people seem to so contently glide through the routine without so much emotion, without so many stinking questions.

Some days I lose perspective, and these queries and concerns play tag in my head, and I feel exhausted. The chatter: it is tiring.

Other days, I see so clearly that these questions don’t so much matter. That whatever the heck it is I’m doing, it’s okay; I’m onto something. I’m aligning myself, bit by bit, that much more with those things and those people and that music and those experiences that resonate with my soul. Some days, I am just so beautifully tuned in.

I am getting better at listening. To the chatter and to the silence.

My life is so full, and during certain, packed weeks, there is too much to even record. When I pause and push aside those nagging lacks, those voids that occasionally rise to the surface and ‘ping!’…. I am blinded by the light of all that is already there, of all that is already GOOD.

Here’s just a mere sample of the past couple weeks (great waterside brother time, awesome press events with AFAR Media, birthday celebrations that keep on giving, a VERY impromptu Lake City Dive concert—her voice!!, kitschy tea time, stress-releasing sun runs, St. Patrick’s whimsy, and through it all….some really fantastic company).

p.s. Happy St. Patrick’s Day! What’s making you feel *lucky* these days?

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*longing*

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“It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are still alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger for them.”~George Eliot

Happy-making videos

Here are some things I can’t get enough of these days.

*The first video features my dear college friend Finkers—of The Giving Tree Band. Aren’t he and his brother so talented?? They also happen to be the nicest, loveliest humans. Hearing Fink’s familiar voice takes me back to so many college dorm room and balmy spring break singalongs, and I just can’t help but smile:)

I also LOVE the Wobble-worthy Mardi Gras policeman, and the voices of those Nashville girls just BLOW me away. The talent!!

 

Reminder needed/noted, thanks

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It was a darn good birthday!

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Ushering out the old & in the *new*

There are times when I get caught in my own head, tripped up by my own stories. (More often than I care to admit.) I’m a sensitive, emotional, observant, intuitive Pisces. There are aspects of these traits I love about myself, that I have come to embrace as true assets; yet there are other parts I know could be further tweaked. I am learning to look at them with a gentle, interested eye, and I see their potential harm. There is work yet to be done.

This year, my 35th year, I want to (finally) allow much of that unneeded “old”—the dead weight that no longer serves me—to drop away. I want to be lighter.

My birthday falls at a good time of year—smack dab in the drab of gray winter, when I often need a wee lift, a celebratory boost to remind me that life is indeed beautiful and that winter will not last forever and that I am buoyed, supported and very, very fortunately loved.

This weekend, I surrounded myself with those who remind me of this. I enjoyed chats, laughs and adventures in the snow and the rain, I indulged in good food and drink and, throughout it all, I tried to listen to that inner voice.

I am still reflecting on this past year, not quite ready to reveal any sort of astute recap or contemplative summary. But I am looking back with gratitude (cos much of it was really stinkin’ awesome), and I’m looking ahead with quiet hope. (Thank you to those of you who have made my life such a beautiful ride thus far.)

“At the center of your being you have the answer: You know who you are and you know what you want.”~Lao Tzu

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