Unfiltered Year-End Ramblings

I don’t know what I want to say about my 2018 intentions yet, except that—once and for all—I want to get out of my head and into my life. The story spinning is getting old, and the holding myself back is no longer an attractive option. Resisting what is causes way too much unnecessary suffering, and the continuation of habits that don’t make me feel good (too much phone time, for example!) must look downright masochistic to an outside eye…

Much of this year has been great. Really great. I am beyond beyond beyond grateful for family and friends and health and travels and steady work (the majority of the time) and a cozy little home nest I typically enjoy. Spectacular highlights ranged from getting so many visitors here in Seattle (my favorite thing) and reuniting with Hewy and Karalee in the Faroe Islands this September (pure magic!), to spending Christmas with the entire family here in the beautiful PNW, with a surprise dumping of holiday-time snow (so special).

If I’m being honest, though, other parts of this year felt hard. The news headlines are terrifying, an unhinged, despicably heartless Grinch is supposedly running our country, and many people I love dearly have been going through really tough things (which affects me to a degree I sometimes don’t realize). I didn’t have very clear aims going into the year and often felt like I was waffling. Stuck. Spinning.

Perhaps this post has negative undertones since I’m writing it in the depths of winter when I’ve admittedly been feeling a bit blue (plus I’m missing my family something terrible right now). But I will say that I feel the hope slowly returning to the surface, and I know that I must change my ‘tude in order for the New Year to deliver all I hope it will.

I’m sifting through so many reflections and projections this weekend as we prepare to flip the calendar page…All I can say for now, though, is that I know I wish for:

-more human connection
-more time away from the screen
-more music
-more reading
-more global travel
-more healthy habits (like morning meditation + daily journaling)
-more fulfilling work projects
-more time in nature
-more cooking at home
-more vulnerability and real talk
-more addressing the root of emotions and issues
-more self-care
-more lightness
-more laughter
-more joy
-more “staying in my own lane”
-more trust in abundance
-more trust in love
-more trust in my intution
-more trust, full stop.

Sending love to all as we look back with gratitude and look ahead with hope. Roll on, 2018.

 

 

 

 

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Basking in the Glow

I am drinking my morning smoothie by the light of a freshly-lit candle and my ultra-wee fake tree (a Fred Meyer purchase many years old that brings me more joy than I could have ever foreseen). I am remembering all the mornings Mom would turn on the tree before school so we could eat our Cream of Wheat under its magical glow—such a cozy start to each day during one of my favorite seasons.

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Often I think about how special it was when all four of us lived together under one roof—our reality for so many years, when we simply knew no other way. I deeply miss those days when we were one solitary unit, when we hadn’t yet learned to spread our wings and fly. Now, on the rare occasions it happens again (like this December!!), I soak up every second, grateful to hear their oh-so-familiar footsteps and voices—ingrained in the core of my being—once again sharing my space.

I feel very excited for this December. My calendar is piled high with festive events and joyous reunions with so many friends at once—another rarity I appreciate now more than ever before. This season makes me hopeful. (It also makes me nervous when I see how much I’ve committed to, so I’ve tried to offset the “busy” with a slew of new self-care techniques and appointments that I can’t wait to try…)

Sometimes, often, I really love the quiet of my little apartment—a sacred space I attempt to fill with hygge and happy. On this gray morning, I hear: the rhythmic patter of rain, the squawk of a cranky bird (seagull?), tunes from the “Wild” soundtrack I downloaded last night. Sometimes, though, I also can’t wait to once again live in a home filled with other voices and footsteps—music and laughter and life and love. And I really do trust it’s coming soon.

Happy almost December, all. Here’s to basking in the promising light of the season.

Here-We-Go-Again Tuesday

James Vincent McMorrow. Cold cucumber water.  A hazy, smoke-tinged morning sky. An alarm set for 9 (ha! VERY wishful thinking…). In reality, a jet-lagged monkey mind that awoke me just before 6.

Because of the pre-dawn wake-up, I at least made myself do a 10-minute guided meditation. (It went just so-so.) I lit a candle. I turned on the tunes. Slowly sliding back into my to-do list. Attempting to establish morning rituals that retain some of the calm and ease I feel while traveling/away from my computer. I learn so much on the road, and the eternal battle is translating these lessons back to “real life,” to routine-filled days…

Slow and steady will be my mantra on this re-entry Tuesday, when my mind is still halfway stuck (with my beloved travel buds) in the verdant, magic-tinged hills of the Faroe Islands, which now feel a million miles away.

Today I wish me luck, you luck, us all luck. Happy September, friends! We’ve got this.

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Nuggets of Truth

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  • The mid-week press trips I go on can be really, really awesome. They also mean I consequently work most of the weekend (while others play) and find myself still attempting to pull together my life at midnight on a Sunday…
  • Sometimes I can’t believe I am really, truly making it as a travel writer. It is certainly not always easy. But it is so worth it. It is me.
  • Music makes everything better. (Current guilty pleasures: Niall Horan’s Slow Hands and any of these random, chill-electro Kygo mixes.)
  • Our world currently terrifies me.
  • I want everyone I love to live in one safe, protected, happy bubble.
  • I can’t listen to or read the news.
  • I nearly expired today in hot yoga. I have possibly never sweat more. In. My. Life. It both hurt and felt incredible.
  • I dreamt about my French host family last night, and it was a wonderful, laugh-filled reunion (curiously conducted mostly in English). I think it’s time I send them a hello.
  • Talking to each member of my (real) family today was a lovely day highlight:)
  • I feel Seattle summer in my fingers and toes, and oh, is she lookin’ gooooood.
  • Recently, I’ve been consistently glimpsing at the clock  at 11:11. (When I see it, I unconsciously exhale. Grateful. Reassured.)
  • This list could go on forever; it’s time to unwind before bed.

Wishing you all a most wonderful week.

Week Goal

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“Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.”~George Bernard Shaw

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Things Currently Speaking to Me

This post.

This podcast (still).

This song.

This song, too (thanks, Big Little Lies + your absolutely awesome soundtrack).

This book.

This moody, broody, beautiful sky last night (wow!).

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What’s filling your waking hours these days? Always on the hunt for new recs, especially in the music/podcast/movie/show/inspiration department:) Cheers!

 

 

 

 

 

38 y/o Me, Listen Close

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p.s. Sun, please grace us with your presence again.

The 37-year-old me has done a few things this past week that she’s pretty darn proud of. And she really hopes that 38-year-old me (Friday, in fact) has been taking note & plans to follow suit. I:

~Went to the DMV to fix an expiring license situation a full week (week!) before D-day

~Picked up an Rx way before it actually ran out

~Attended to a few belated gifts and notes that have been forevvvver hanging over my head on that perpetual, rarely-touched-but-always-there “Life To-Do List”

These may sound minor, petty, silly, fundamental. Yet, to me, they’re kind of a big deal.

(Both #1 & 2 avoided last-minute panic events that have happened throughout my life umpteen times, and #3 quickly lifted weight off my shoulders that had been unnecessarily lingering for months, even years.)

New Year (to Me) goals: Don’t procrastinate, stall, hesitate, deliberate.

JUST DO IT.

Happy March, y’all.

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